Kennedy walked into the house for the last time. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to leave. It hurt to breathe. She loved Willow. Enough to let her go. She took a deep breath and screwed her face and attitude to her own version of five by five. Matter-of-fact, friendly. No tears. Those could come later. When Willow couldn’t see. She started climbing the stairs, calling out as she did, “Willow?” Kennedy found her standing by the window overlooking the driveway.
“Hey. We’re leaving in a few. Buffy’s got all the info on where we’ll be.”
“Kennedy . . . ”
“Don’t Will. Don’t say you’re sorry. I couldn’t stand it..” She sighed, this was so hard, but she knew Willow was hurting; possibly as much as she was. “Look . . . I . . . you know, you were never mine to keep. I can give you love and comfort. You can enjoy my body and give me yours. But your heart? Your soul? They’re hers. What we had was nice. It was what it was but it’s done,” she shrugged, hoping she was convincing Willow that she was okay with the way things turned out. ‘C’est la vie,' she thought.
Willow nodded. “I know it doesn’t mean much but thank you. I didn’t realize I was rebounding. You deserved better. You're a beautiful woman and you made me feel beautiful and wanted and alive.”
Kennedy smiled softly and reassured her, “You are. I gotta go,” she said, thinking, ‘yeah, I deserved better
. . . but I fell in love with you.’
Willow nodded again and Kennedy saw the uncertainty play across her face. Taking the decision away from Willow, Kennedy stepped closer and pulled Will into a hug. “You know how to find me. Friends. Always will be.” Kennedy broke the contact before the tears behind her eyes and the sob caught in her throat could break free. She turned away and forced herself to walk down the stairs and out the door without looking back, afraid that if she did Willow would be crying; more afraid that she wouldn’t be.
Kennedy got into the car, still trying to control the flood of emotions.
“That was quick. Figured you’d be at least an hour,” Faith said as the car started pulling away from her not-home.
“Yeah. Short and sweet,” Kennedy said, watching out the side window. She didn’t want to cry in front of Faith. She hadn’t told Faith about her breakup with Willow and, apparently, neither had anyone else.
“Surprised Red let you go. I know if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight let alone overseas.”
Kennedy shrugged, not trusting her voice. Faith fell silent, leaving Kennedy to her thoughts. ‘Fresh start. Slaying. Faith is cool. Vi and Rona’ll be there. Wood’s already there. Already got our own little Scooby Gang. No. Not Scooby. Justice League, American Heroes, Tele-freakin’-Tubbies. But definitely NOT Scoobies.’ The first tear slipped out before she had a chance to stop it and apparently left the door open because it was quickly followed by a flood of friends. Kennedy let them flow, refusing to acknowledge them by wiping them away.
“Yo, K, it’ll be alright. I mean, I know it’s tough but, hell, we’ve got the dough. Red can visit, you can come back. There’s this new invention . . . the phone? Heard of it?” Faith rambled at her.
Kennedy just shook her head. She didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to hear, didn’t want to think. If she started thinking, she’d have to accept that it was over. She’d have to let Willow go.
Faith put a hand on Kennedy’s thigh. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” she said. Kennedy turned to look at Faith, tears streaming down her face. She shook her head, her voice strained as she said, “No. It’s really not,” she sobbed, before collapsing into a surprised Faith’s arms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~