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Author Topic: Keeping the Faith  (Read 1500 times)
« on: August 26, 2008, 12:32:24 PM »

Dear Chicks and Dude,
   Iíve met the most wonderful man online.  For the first time in my life, I feel respected, cherished and loved.  Weíve been together for two months already, and are in the process of trying to set up our second attempt at meeting.  The first one fell through because of his work schedule.  Itís his busy time in the summer, and trying to get two weeks off is tough.  But, Iím waiting patiently, because I know it will happen this time.
   When we are able to chat for a few hours every evening (he goes to bed early, because he gets up early), he tells me how beautiful I am, and how lucky he is to have found me.  Iíve never felt more alive.  When I load up my cam and he tells me that Iím the most beautiful woman in the world, I feel like I can do anything.  I just wish I had more time with him.  His schedule stinks. It would be nice to talk to him while weíre both lying in bed, but he goes to sleep so early, we never seem to get the chance. I ache at night because I wish I was spending time with him.  He doesnít have a cam, he says his computer is too old, and doesnít have the money for a new one right now, which I understand because I canít replace my old one either, but I canít wait for the day that he can.
   My question to you is what are things I can do to keep myself busy and keep the faith too?  Sometimes it feels like Iím waiting for the impossible.

Dear Keepiní the Faith,
Iím really glad to hear that youíre happy! He sounds like a really nice man who makes you feel good about yourself. HoweverÖ
I have never, ever had someone flake on meeting me, especially if there was going to be sex involved. Even if the meet had to be shortened or rescheduled because it was never firmed up, it always happened, near the time we said.
Not everyone has a cam. Heck, I didnít for a good long time, however, I had a camera and a scanner Ė or could take my happy self down to Kinkoís to use theirs.  I would certainly hope that youíve asked for a pic of him holding a newspaper or magazine with a very recent date/article showing, at the very least.
 I understand the schedule difference, but I think I understand that youíre saying that you never talk to him during evening hours and at night? Even on vacations of national holidays?
Honestly, it sounds like youíre being taken for a ride.
Heís married. Every sign points to it. He flaked on a meet. You donít see him live. Most damning of all, are the hours of your contact. The only reason for that is that someone else is taking up his time and attention.
If married is okay with you, so be it, however, if youíre looking for hearts, flowers and a big, white pumpkin coach, I really think youíre looking at the wrong prince.
Chick Two

Dear Keeping,

Wow, this one hits close to my heart.  I fell for the best guy online too.  I didnít have a cam, neither did he, so that was no big deal.  I had his cell phone, home phone, hell I even knew where he worked and had his work phone.

We both talked about how we both wanted to see each other, but there was always an excuse.  He didnít have the vacation time, he was in the service and when he retired in two years, he wanted to come out here for an entire month.  I told him that I thought a long weekend was plenty of time for a first meet.  So you planning two weeks, in my opinion is way way way too long.  This is someone youíve never even seen smile, scowl, or move, and youíre spending two weeks with this man?  Iíd rethink that.

I also agree with chick one.  My dream man and I would communicate via email and IM, then heíd suddenly disappear.  Always an internet issue due to weather.  I of course had no reason to doubt that, so I believed it.

The clincher was as his birthday neared, I wanted to send him a birthday card, so I flat out asked for his address so I could mail it.  He made it seem like a present or card wasnít necessary, and then the subject changed and he had to go.

Well me being me, I had his home number, so I did one of those reverse number look ups on the webÖ Guess what?  His phone bill comes to him AND his wife.  Everything crumbled after that.  I called and called his house until someone answered, it was his wife, but he came to the phone and I confronted him.

Then, later, I fell for someone else who was single (so they said), we voiced on yahoo at all hours of the day, night, he was available pretty much anytime, so I believed the single part.  I got the same excuse about the cam ( I had one at this point), his computer was too old.  Another red flag I ignored was the lack of phone numbers.  His cell was a work one (of course) so he couldnít give out that number, and that was the only cell he had.  He also owned his own business, so there was no HR department to call and do a reference check.

Well, after setting a date for our first meet, he pulled a fast one and disappeared tragically online.

It was after that, that I pulled my head out of my ass, looked up his IP and found out he didnít live where he said he did.  Everything was a lie.

After that I said to myself, I will at the very least, hear and see the person live on cam.  I need to know that the person Iím talking to is real, not some picture from maybe two, three or four years ago.

I donít hesitate to demand a cam, work number, home and cell, home address.  Now Iím not saying I demand all of this the first time I talk with a person.  However, once I decide that this might go somewhere, thereís no excuses.  Camís are not all that expensive anymore.  So look me up when you buy one.

My experience is limited, but Iíve learned that if someone is true, they will go out of his/her way to prove it to you.  If someone is ready to meet, then they are ready to provide you with certain private information so you can check them out. 

ALSO, make sure you have a recent STD/HIV/AIDS test for this person BEFORE thereís any kind of sex.  Your life and health is not worth a night of pleasure.  If you donít feel comfortable asking for it, you have no business having sex with the person.  You owe it to yourself to be checked and offer it to a perspective lover as well.  Itís the adult thing to do.

Iím sorry if this was long winded.  I want things to be real, and happy and glorious for you, I really do.  I know how good it feels when it is real.  Do yourself a favor and get this information before you set a date to meet. 

PleaseÖ. Investigate, empower yourself.

Chick One

You are waiting for the impossible.

No cam? Goes to bed early? First meeting "fell through'?

 I smell W-I-F-E.

He's using you to get through a shitty marriage or other relationship....Take some sage advice...Buy a vibrator....They are inexpensive and do the job..and you don't have to put up with their crap other than fresh batteries every now and again.

Best Wishes,

The Dude

Hobbies are a good thing. Obsessive-compulsive behavior helps...but...if you're not OCD then a hobby can still help. Writing is always one of my recommendations. Writing about you and your man and the things you'd like to do together Ė both the erotic and the non-erotic. Reading Ė online or off. If you like video games Ė they can take up countless hours (The Sims, Zoo Tycoon are PC games that will definitely take up hours of your time and are non-violent). Scrap-booking? Needlecraft? Go to a local art/hobby supply store and you're sure to find something you'd like to do. It's hard being alone when the person you love is so far away and not often available. If it's worth it and it's real, it'll keep and you'll find ways to occupy your time so as not to be ...erm...tempted by others.

Chick WhateverNumberIAmThisWeek ---- (FYI- youíre always chick 3)
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Posts: 6

« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2008, 08:31:45 PM »

The 3 chicks and a Dude hit the nail on the head. I smell deception and this person not only has a wife, he is probably stringing along several other online relationships.

Get a pet, your life will be less stressful.

The Viper Dude
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