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Author Topic: Other woman  (Read 1703 times)
« on: March 22, 2008, 01:43:55 PM »

Dear Three Chicks,

I just read the letter from Grass is Greener and I liked your responses so I’m going to put my problem out there. I’m in an online relationship and have been for the last two years with a married man. Yes, I know it’s wrong, but I didn’t think about that when I was falling in love with the man of my dreams. Everything about him is what I’ve dreamed of all my life, we’ve made plans for our future. There were many times when I felt I couldn’t keep going with this, but I did. I remained content with getting together for a few days at a time every couple of months. I tried not to think about his daily life with her, only imagined the day when I’d be in it. Now he’s finally leaving his wife. I should be overjoyed; finally we can start building our life together. But I’m nervous and scared and I don’t know why. I know he’ll never cheat on me, because he says that I’m the perfect woman for him. I have no one else to talk to about this, none of my friends know he’s married. Can you help?

1) He cheated on her...he'll cheat on you. You're his "perfect" woman because he doesn't have to deal with the day to day reality of life.  Bills, jobs, kids, stress with you.
B) Yes. He's the man of your dreams...until you're picking his socks up off the floor for the thousandth time because for some reason he just can't find the hamper.  Until you're cleaning his hair out of the drain or watching him chew his food or scratch his balls while he watches the game.
You're nervous and scared because fantasy and reality were never meant to collide.  Why don't your friends know he's married?  You've been together two years and they don't know...that alone should tell you something.
Think long and hard before you do this.  If he left his wife that easily...what makes you think after two years of dealing with each other...he won't be surfing for the next "perfect" woman?

Chick 3

Dear Other Woman,
First off, I suppose I should congratulate you on your perseverance.  Congrats.  There now that that’s out of the way,  I’m not surprised you are nervous and scared.  Going from online to real time is scary enough, but to know your setting up house with a cheater?  That’s downright frightening.  Honey, I’m sure you’re the perfect woman for him, because you’re not his wife.  How long do you think the fantasy will  last once the reality of every day life sets in?  How long will the mystique last once you’re the one washing his shorts every day?  On top of that, how long before he’s late in coming home from work and you begin to wonder if there’s someone else?  That is the definite reality, because you know from living it that he’s prone to it.  It may be that you’ll give him all the sex he needs for a long time, maybe he won’t stray, maybe he will.  You will never know.   
My advice?  Let him separate and get divorced, without you as a bed partner.  Let him live on his own for at the very least a year.  He will need time to find out what and who he is single.  If after that time you find you both still want to be together, then evaluate the situation.
Hope that helps,
Chick 1
Dear Other Woman,
Two years? The man of your dreams is married? Girlfriend, wasn’t that a clue to you that he was hands-off and maybe you should spend more time having a stare at Orlando Bloom in a blond wig? Wow, erm… Why on earth did you spend so long with someone who wasn’t making you the priority in his life? A couple of things:
A)    He will cheat on you. Cheaters cheat. He cheated on her, he’ll cheat on you as soon as you’re not a novelty. Sorry.
B)    I really hope you’re not planning on setting up house right away with this guy. You still barely know him. A couple of weekends every once in awhile and IMs, no matter how smoochie lovie do not roommates make.
C)    If you must do this, date. In separate houses. Go to movies, dinner, walks in the park. Date like offline people. For a long time. A month is not a long time. A year is not a long time.
D)    Don’t expect to move right into bliss. He’s still got to heal from this divorce. Your new relationship, even though it’s old, will be a rebound. Expect badness.
Well… good luck. You’ll need it,
Chick 2
Dear Other Woman,
1)      There is no such thing as a “man of your dreams” or “woman of your dreams”. There can be a close approximation to your dream, but alas, not reality.
2)      He will cheat, it’s what he does. He did it to his wife, do you think you are going to be safe?
3)      You will always be the other woman, no matter what happens. And when he gets bored, say good-bye to the penis and hello to the pseudo-phallis, because that’s all you’re going to be getting.
4)      And, well, good luck!
The Dude

Full Member
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Posts: 170

« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2008, 06:45:31 PM »

Take up croquet instead dear and steer clear of him. You get lots of fresh air and get to hit things with a big mallet. It will make you feel much better
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