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Author Topic: It's all relative I think?  (Read 162 times)
DTM (Wet and grey)
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« on: October 02, 2008, 11:52:52 AM »

Dear janey,

What is the theory of relativity all about?  Does it really involve the painful coming together of people you would normally have nothing to do with once a year to eat large birds or am I missing something?

Confuzzled,
DTM
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janey
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« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2008, 06:39:20 AM »

Relativity and the luck of the Einstein’s

Albert Einstein has been hailed as the greatest scientist ever to brush his teeth in the great sink of life that is the human race. His theory of Relativity is cited as one of the greatest discoveries ever, and yet the whole thing is a sham or at best a moment of immense good fortune.
As you probably know, the young Albert arrived in America a penniless immigrant with ambitions to make his name and fortune in the New World. He was lucky enough to be given the job at Warner Bros. studio’s that was to be his first claim to fame but it wasn’t enough for his massive intellect. And so he eventually left Warner’s and tried to squeeze his way into the scientific community as a physicist. It was very hard to get noticed in that field but unexpectedly his first break came not in the field of physics but that of Anthropology, in particular extinct languages.
Whilst on holiday in Scotland he became interested in the old languages of northern Britain and in particular those of the pre-Celtic era.
And so with his Gaelic speaking guide Jock “Wee Shugee” McFee he set off into the Highlands to search ancient barrows in his quest to unravel the past. His findings where quite remarkable. He not only found writings from the pre Gaelic people but in one Barrow he also found a Caledonian “Rosetta” stone where the pre Gaelic had been translated into another language which he called transitional English.
With the Act of Union between Scotland and England in 1707 the Anglo Scottish landlords owned most of the land of Scotland. These powerful men tried to suppress Gaelic and in most cases succeeded. However in some parts of Scotland a sort of dog Gaelic was used as a final protest before they were forced to use English proper. In dog Gaelic most words where prefixed with “Mc” as in “the McQuick McBrown McFox McJumped McOver the McLazy McDog.  It is rather unwieldy I’m sure you will agree and did not last long. It now only remains in Scottish names such as McLeod and McNiven. However this is the language, which Einstein called transitional English.
He was therefore able to translate the tongue of the ancients into English using this “Rosetta stone”. However there was one missing link. Whilst he found the words in pre Gaelic for most of the numbers from 1 to 9 the word for “2” was missing. What he had was “si” = McOne, “j” = McThree “fu” = Mcfour etc. but nothing for Mctwo.
The mystery was solved when Wee Shugee remembered that in the Glasgow Municipal Museum of Drinking Far Too Much there was a plaque thought to come from a pre Gaelic Gin Palace that had also been translated into pre English and he was sure that the closing time of this ancient watering hole was 2 o’clock in the morning on Sundays and Public Holidays.
The young Albert rushed to Glasgow and sure enough there it was, the missing number, Mctwo in the old tongue was “e”. He jotted it down in his loose-leaf diary, which was to be with him for all his working life, and returned to the USA to record his discoveries.
He published his work “Pre Gaelic for Dummies” shortly thereafter but used the name of his faithful guide as the author because of his wish to be known only as a famous physicist and not be sidetracked into other things.
Years late, when Albert Einstein was a rising star in scientific circles there occurred and event which was to change science for ever. Albert Einstein dropped his priceless diary. It fell with the front-page open and was picked up by a fellow physicist who could not help looking at the jottings of the great man. He showed it to his colleagues and then asked Albert what the formula was that was written thereon. Albert was in something of a dilemma, he couldn’t say what it really was as that would uncover the deception regarding the authors of “Pre Gaelic for Dummies”, and so thinking quickly he scanned a newspaper that lay open on his desk.
“Relax with a Marlborough” it said, and on the opposite page’ it being mid December, was a picture of children enacting the Christmas story with the bold type “NATIVITY”. He melded the two in his mind and looked up at his audience.
“Relativity” said Albert “it’s the theory of Relativity and shows the relationship between ahh energy and er, mass and the speed of light…. squared”
The scientists were ecstatic and gathered around him slapping him on the back and generally making a fuss.
Of course Albert had to go and make up lots of stuff to fit in with the formula and the whole thing got totally out of control when it he became one of the most famous people who ever lived and his relativity formula universally acclaimed.
After all what else could E=Mc2 mean?
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DTM (Wet and grey)
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« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2008, 08:31:09 AM »

Hmmmm

I've always been a bit suspicious about the whole "Scientific" explanation thing.  It seemed awfully convenient to be able to say a new equation could prove time travel possible but not until sometime long after Albert had passed away.  He was a shrewd guy to think on his feet quick like that.

So I was totally off then?  I wonder what science is related to the gathering of relatives at the obligatory holiday meals?

Thanks for the answer janey!
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