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Author Topic: Lonely Gal  (Read 141 times)
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« on: June 08, 2008, 06:20:22 PM »

Dear Three Chicks and a Dude,
 
During the last several months, I've been searching, mostly online, for a man. I'm not married and I am looking for one who isn't married either. I'd like a real life relationship someday! Other people say that I'm nice and I know I'm sincere and that I'm not a hag, but every guy I get together with turns out to be all wrong, though. It seems like almost immediately I'm back to the search again. I feel like as soon as I make a commitment, the guy changes and really isn't what I wanted in the first place so it's back to the drawing board. I know there's gossip about me but I don't know what else to do. What am I doing wrong?
 
Sincerely,
Lonely Gal
 

Dear Lonely Gal,

The first thing Id stop and ask myself, is how well do I know these men before I get involved with them.  Do they have a history of loving and leaving?  Am I jumping in with both feet too soon? 

You say that the man changes and he turns out to be all wrong.  What are your expectations?  Are they realistic?  Do your expectations change when you make a commitment?  You need to evaluate what it is that you want and stick to it.

You know the old adage, Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free.  Online, just as in real life, takes time to build a relationship.  Online makes it even tougher because you are not sitting right next to the person to read body language, hear tone etc.  You dont know if hes chatting only with you, or with two people at the exact same time.  So what do I suggest?  Use the online experience just as you would in real life.  If you jump into cyber sex too soon, more than likely hell turn away.  Give him the tease, draw him closer.  Make a commitment to meet in real life before you get him off in the virtual one.  Most online relationships are about instant gratification.  When the novelty wears off, the parties move on.

Good luck in your search,
Chick 1.

Dear Lonely Gal,

What are you doing wrong? Wow, so many answers. Seriously, look for a man in real life, if that's what you want. Online, that perfect man is either married, shallow or a woman. If that's something you want, go for it, otherwise....you will get hurt online, just like in real life. However, in real life, you can go key the bastard's car  ;-)


Best Wishes,

The Dude

Lonely...
 
What are you doing wrong? You're LOOKING.  Make friends, chat with everyone, get to know them as people instead of potentials.  Join an online service, don't rely on chatrooms - people in chatrooms lie, usually because all they're interested in is a quick cyber-fling. 
 
Relax.  The right guy is out there but by trying and looking, you're bound to find the wrong guy - the one who'll tell you whatever you want to hear.
 
Also? Get out once in awhile - join a gym, a social club, go to church or out with friends.  The internet is a great place but it's no substitute for face to face human interaction. 
 
Good Luck!

Agent 99...errr Chick 3

Dear Lonely,
 
1) Get offline. Go meet people with bodies instead of pixels.
2) If you're looking "almost immediately", chances are you're not looking at actual partners, but at fuck-buddies. It sounds like you're not getting together with real people at all, but with the first guy you can get.
3) You're desperate. Stop it. Have some self-respect. If you respect yourself enough to take your time in giving yourself to someone until you actually know him, there's a good chance that he's going to respect you, too.
4) Of course there are rumors. If you're moving between men like a bee in a field of flowers, you may as well be getting paid for the work you're giving away for free. Think of your reputation!There comes a point when you're known more for the laundry list of men that you've done instead of the person you are.

Chick 2


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