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Reviewer: Kischa Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/07/2011 06:36 am Title: Chapter 3

Loved it! just finished reading it for a second time. 

Reviewer: sockglue Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/21/2011 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 3

Enjoyed reading that =)

Reviewer: RogueMudblood Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/12/2009 11:52 pm Title: Chapter 2

"The rest of the meal passed, without fanfare. Minerva continued to glance over at Severus and Hermione and roll her eyes. Filius waggled his eyebrows at Hermione, in what he imagined was encouragement, he was only caught by Severus once, who looked at him bemusedly."

You need a comma nazi.  Reading this the way that commas are supposed to be used (as pauses) makes me sound like Captain Kirk.

Try this:

The rest of the meal passed without fanfare. Minerva continued to glance over at them and roll her eyes. Filius waggled his eyebrows at Hermione in what he imagined was encouragement.  He was only caught once by Severus, earning him a bemused look.

I am thoroughly amused, however, by the story itself.

Reviewer: gonefishing Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/14/2009 08:51 am Title: Act One

Good start.  I really loved their bickering - it seemed so typical of an old married couple.

Being a fellow Aussie - I also found your author's note amusing too...unlike you however, I blame my lack of good punctuation on the NSW English syllabus :)



Author's Response:

I'm really glad that you're liking it so far.

Haha, to be completely honest, the only reason I don't blames the NSW English Syllabus is because I'm heading into that profession soon. Otherwise, I would be right their with you. :)

Thanks for taking the time to review =)

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