Date: 11/12/2010 01:00 am Title: Chapter 6
This has potential to be an absolutely wonderful story. I would urge you to go back in and correct grammar and word mistakes (Take a peak? Peak means uppermost point of something. You mean 'take a peek.' Peek means to look at quickly.) Names: DumbledorE. You kept leaving off the E at the end of the name! Titles: AURORS. Not Aurora! That's the Goddess of the dawn. The word 'breathe' meaning to inhale and exhale when you meant 'breath'- a singular inhalation or the air inhaled in the lungs. Sometimes I laughed - you would get a word right, like 'phenomenal' but you couldn't get easy words correct. Really, a quick peek at the Lexicon would help, but you still need to learn the definitions of individual words and colloquiallisms.
The story itself is marvelous, and I'm sure the extra effort to go back in and have someone Beta the story would bring you in a ton more readers, because it's so good.
Good luck!