The Ballroom Chat

Masked dancers, in glowing silks and shimmering satin costumes and dominos gavotte under the candlelight of Murano crystal chandeliers. Velvet-curtained alcoves conceal card games and trysts while musicians in one corner play for the dancers. Uniformed footmen offer champagne to all. Resting on a table near a gilded door, are feathered half-masks for new comers.

This chat serves all of The Masque sites, The Masque, The WIKtT Archives, and The BDSM Garden.

Chat has a calendar of Ballroom activities and topic chats here.

The chatroom is for users 18+ and is sponsored by


BDSM Room Etiquette, Expectations & Traditions...
to better understand why we're doing the things we're doing.

321Chat's BDSM room is a safe place to teach, learn, and celebrate all things related to Domination, submission, and BDSM. It is also understood that the topic of conversation varies greatly and does not always include D/s or BDSM. BDSM topics are always encouraged, however. Polite debate and discussion of D/s topics should be the goal of the chat room.

While the following are not "rules" and by no means mandatory, we hope you will join us in celebrating some of our traditions and expectations.

•   Respect the other chatters. We do not discriminate between those who participate in BDSM activities and those who do not. We also have a policy of YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Okay). The only exceptions are violations of the site rules.

•   Chatters are respectfully requested to register usernames and have a correct age listed in the profile.

•   The Dominants govern the room. The Dominants, as a group, are empowered to control the behavior, discipline, and tone of the room. The Dominants should encourage others to ignore unpleasant elements in chat and encourage the misdirected chatter to the proper room. The submissives should let the dominants handle the issue. No single Dominant is in charge; the collective majority is. Moderators are present to enforce the site rules.

•   Though allowing the Dominants the honor of assisting and protecting is preferred and encouraged, under any circumstances, the submissives are empowered to defend themselves. Use of the Block button is suggested for the entire room. Moderators are present to enforce the site rules.

•   Traditionally, a Capitalized name is a Dominant or Top; a lowercase name is a submissive or bottom. Your mileage and grammar preferences may vary.

•   While we understand English grammar rules, traditionally, a Dominant is referred to with capitalized pronouns and honorifics as a courtesy, i.e., Her, You, They, Sir, Ma'am; a submissive is referred to with lowercase. This may translate into using phrases like “Y/you A/all”, meaning a collective of Dominants and submissives. Submissive or slave referral to self in third person is acceptable and may be considered a formality. Honorifics are not required in chat.

•   Submissives are encouraged ask permission to enter and leave the chat room. Dominants should grant entrance promptly. This immediately reminds every person attending that this is a BDSM room. It puts the submissives into a D/s mindset, rather than a generic chat or play mindset. Granting entrance engages the Dominants in their service and attentiveness, too. It produces a symbiosis of D/s in two sentences. It creates a theme of service and formality that differentiates this room from general chat rooms. Some Dominants have their own rules for their submissives’ entrance. Those rules will always prevail.

•   If a collared, protected, or otherwise claimed submissive misbehaves, discipline or correction should be given by the Dominant he/she is protected by. If another Dominant has a complaint about a collared submissive, it should be given directly to that submissive's Dominant, privately.

•   If an unowned submissive or a Dominant is disruptive, the other present Dominants, with the cooperation and advice from the room’s Moderator (not a 321 Mod), will manage the discussion/discipline of the member. This should be a group decision, and never the actions of a single Dominant, even if the matter must be tabled until Others are present.

•   Please ask to private message other members of the room.

•   The rooms’ submissives, slaves, and bottoms are not required to serve any person they are not bound to.

•   We have a Topic of the Day. Guests are welcome to bring up any questions or new topics at any time, but we will direct chat toward the scheduled topic if there is a lag in the chat. On Topic photographs, art, quotations, thoughts, ideas, definitions, links, questions, teaching, experiences, and jokes are welcome. A calendar for the chats is posted in several places.

•   Members new to BDSM, both Dominant and submissive, are encouraged to seek an experienced mentor for guidance and learning. Mentorship is not normally a sexual relationship and may or may not cross D/s lines. Questions from newer lifestyle people are always welcome in the room. It is always a good idea to research a mentor before asking for mentorship.

•   Unless the Dominant/Top involved in a public scene invites participation, do not jump into a scene through action, advice, or talking with the people in the scene. They are focused on each other and distractions are disruptive. Crosstalk during a scene or serve is allowed.

•   While the BDSM Room does have food and drinks from John Norman’s Gor series, as well as a pile of furs for slaves, and Gorean serves and dances are welcome and appreciated, 321sexchat’s BDSM room is not a Gorean chat.

•   Please do not post random porn photos, links, or music to the BDSM room. There are other rooms for that. We prefer our photos to be on theme and coincide with the topic being discussed.

•   For ease of understanding, please spell out all of your words in chat. This is an English speaking chat.

•   Politeness is required, respect is earned.

Special Thanks to The BDSM Garden and the BDSM chat room members for their contributions to this page.

Sex Chat Rules
Although these rules cover most general situations, they cannot cover everything, therefore 321 Sex Chat Moderators have permission to take any action that's necessary to ensure 321SexChat rooms are not disrupted.

You risk being banned for violating any of these rules and are not entitled to a warning. Arguing technicalities will not protect you if you are violating the spirit of the rule.

You must be 18+ to chat here
No flooding, trolling, cloning.
No hacking, exploiting, spoofing.
No posting links to other chat sites. (many are set to auto ban)
No posting links to affiliate / personals sites. (many are set to auto ban)
No posting mini urls (many are set to auto ban)
No posting links to .exe or .zip files. (You might be banned on the spot. - Don't do it)
No distributing personal information, even your own.(We'll assume you're a bot, or giving someone else's info out)
No racism (Take this as your first and final warning)
No Incest (No family related role-play including names such as "younger" & "lil"), rape, forced sex and bestiality user names. We will continue to work with police and government agencies to pursue anyone who attempts to endanger children. We have answered at least 50 subpoena giving local and federal authorities IP and Host information on people praying on children and peddling illegal smut.
No typing in all caps. (Its hard to read and pretty annoying)
No repeatedly messaging someone who clearly is not replying. (Take a hint... they don't want to talk to you)

Each room has its own personality and expectations. The BDSM chatroom has their own unique traditions which you can read about more on that page. The Porn Chatroom allows for the posting of links to explicit images. The Roleplay Chatroom likes detailed stories. Take your time to explore each room and you'll fit right in.
Our moderators are regular people who are here to chat and have a good time. They do their best to keep things running smoothly and troll free. Please use the ignore feature if someone is annoying you rather than asking a moderator to referee an online squabble.

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