Date: 01/03/2015 08:54 am Title: Finish at last!!
I'm sorry but this was terrible...absolutely awful! It was woefully written and made no sense whatsoever. I struggled through to the end hoping it might improve but jeez, it just got worse. I don't think I could write this badly if I tried.
Date: 01/03/2015 07:50 am Title: aroused
This is just really badly written! I've barely started it and it's hard to read, the spelling and grammar are atrocious, the dialogue is childish. I understand you're trying to write AU but there is absolutely nothing of the characters in what I've read. It needs a lot of work.
[Report This]Date: 11/16/2009 10:34 am Title: Finish at last!!
suprising ending. but very hott nonetheless.
Date: 04/03/2008 03:59 pm Title: Bad Bad Snape
Forget "Bad Bad Snape" this was more "Bad Bad Fic".Now I personally am not an author but even I can tell that this is a terrible fic.The characterisation is completely OOC,the plot was beyond unrealistic and your knowledge of the female anatomy is appalling.This is definately the worst fic I have ever had the misfortune to read and I suggest you grow up and attend some biology lessons before you ever attempt to write a fic with subject matter such as this.Or a fic fall stop.
[Report This]Date: 12/13/2007 05:08 pm Title: aroused
okay. this is the same person as "reader" just to let you know... grammar was bad in this chapter too, but i think this is about the peak of your story and the most interesting point... notice how it's chapter 2. this probably indicates that about half your chapters were unnecessary. also, your writing style seems young. to improve, you might try to write one chapter stories (one-shots) first. many readers prefer longer chapters and if you were to condense everything together (well, all the necessary info) it would be the proper length. personally, i did not see how the malfoy's fit into the plot at all. they just seemed like a brief intermission. that is all.
[Report This]Date: 12/13/2007 05:01 pm Title: Finish at last!!
this story has a very interesting plot. i honestly think that hermione allowing snape to have sex with her again that quickly is unrealistic due to the rape. but you're the author and are entitled to writing it how you wish. one thing that did bother me throughout the story was incorrect grammar. there are a lot of words that are spelled wrong, or the homonym is used rather than the correct one. also, i saw a sentence or two starting with "but" and it was not dialogue. it wasn't by far the worst fic i've read, but i would suggest finding a beta. i hope you're not offended by this comment, it's just meant to help!
Date: 11/14/2007 07:18 pm Title: Healing and guilt
That was sick. Evil Snape is alright but you didn't write it well. You sound like a little kid trying to write something twisted but it just came out sick. How old are you?
[Report This]Date: 11/13/2007 04:21 pm Title: Finish at last!!
slightly odd...that she forgave him....but i kinda lyked it anywayz cuz im twisted =) LOL
[Report This]Date: 10/29/2007 11:32 pm Title: Bad Bad Snape
How old are you? You really don't sound old enough to be writing this type of story. The hug penis bit was really sick. Snape's character needed a lot of work. Evil-Snape idea is not bad, but you need to develop his character and stop changing your mind about who he is. Your grammer is atrocious. There really was no story or fixed plot, just a lot of sexually disturbing scenes. If that's the kind of stuff you like, you need to stick to one-shots.
[Report This]Date: 10/29/2007 11:31 pm Title: Bad Bad Snape
How old are you? You really don't sound old enough to be writing this type of story. The hug penis bit was really sick. Snape's character needed a lot of work. Evil-Snape idea is not bad, but you need to develop his character and stop changing your mind about who he is. Your grammer is atrocious. There really was no story or fixed plot, just a lot of sexually disturbing scenes. If that's the kind of stuff you like, you need to stick to one-shots.
[Report This]Date: 06/19/2007 08:34 am Title: aroused
Your style is reminiscent of a 13yr old who read something explicit and tried to duplicate it.
[Report This]Date: 01/26/2007 10:34 pm Title: Finish at last!!
That was one twisted ass story.For gosh sakes... a penis that size would be increibly scary. But it was a good tale, and i enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the ending where she didn't love him but decided to stay with him.. your a good author.