Chapter 9

The next morning Lev awoke to find himself holding Bill. Bill's head lay against his chest and his arms were draped around Lev's torso. At first Lev was confused, but then memories of the previous night flooded back.

Damn! It was the only thing Lev could think. Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

He heard a slight groan. Bill stirred. Maybe he'll think it was nothing, just a casual fling, thought Lev hopefully.

Bill woke up and looked into Lev's face. "Hi there," he said, smiling innocently.

Lev forced a smile back. "Hi," he said. However, all he could think was Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

~*~*~*~*~*~

That morning Lev and Bill left for Eilat. Once there, the rest of the day was spent on the beach. For the duration of the bus ride, Lev pretended he was asleep. He avoided Bill at the beach by swimming in the sea. It was successful, and he was quite relieved to find that the hotel room had two beds. However, when Bill crawled into his bed later that night, Lev found himself unable to turn him away. He felt sharp pangs of guilt afterwards, even more so when Bill, thinking Lev was asleep said, "I love you," out loud.

The majority of the next day was spent riding on a bus back from Eilat. They had to wake up early, so sleeping on the bus presented no problems. Lev checked himself back into the same Jerusalem hotel. He even got the same room.

That night Lev slept with Bill for the third time. He felt less guilty afterwards because he tried to rationalize it.

Bill knows what he's getting into, thought Lev, It will just be for this trip. I've set boundaries and that's that. I'm not responsible.

Still not convinced, he turned over trying to sleep, and was finding success until Bill said aloud, "Lev, I still love you."

This time there was no denying that Lev was awake; both of them knew it. But no one said anything.