I think October is one of my favorite months, it's so beautiful out, and the air smells so fresh and it hardly ever rains. Another great thing about this particular October is that Cunningham's Herbological Digest Monthly wants to run an article about my Galateas as well as run my NEWT paper. I am ridiculously excited. Ron and Harry don't understand at all, although Ginny is a little more understanding. Unsurprisingly, Neville was the one who was most excited about my imminent publication, I suppose I should have accepted being sorted into Ravenclaw if I wanted my housemates to be excited about being published.

Did I ever tell you that? I was almost sorted into Ravenclaw, but I really wanted to be in Gryfindor, it seems to me that courage and bravery are really important. Intelligence is important, but you have to use your knowledge, or else it's hardly worth anything.

I have read a few issues of Cunningham's Monthly, and I was really impressed with the quality of information, and I have decided that's an appropriate way to enter into the scene as published. I suppose I am still a little disappointed that it's not for a subject that I really enjoy like Arithmancy or Transfiguration or maybe Potions. A huge part of me just wants Snape to be impressed with me, I suppose if you have ever met him you might understand. He makes me feel two feet tall, all of the other professors here give me fantastic grades and any amount of praise I want, which ironically enough, makes me need him to say something good all the more.

Getting something published in Ars Alchemica would be so amazing.

The Polyjuice brewing was successful, for my test I ended up transforming into Neville, I looked like Neville for an hour, went to Arithmancy that way, it was actually pretty funny.

Talked to Professor McGonagall about my future today, I'm still having a hell of a time working out what I would like to do specifically, I have all these general qualifications like help people' and always keep learning' but those don't even narrow it down to a field, must less a job in a field. Teacher? Researcher of Experimental Something-or-other? Benevolent Anonymous Benefactor? Mediwitch? I think I would rather not be an Auror or a Quidditch groupie, it would be nice to be on my own from Ron and Harry for a change and learn to be Hermione.

The more I think about it, the more I think Ron would make a better Quidditch player than an Auror. I mean Harry's great at the on-the-fly thinking under pressure, much better than I am, but Ron, I think he wants to be special and famous and different from all of his brothers. Aurors don't really get to do all the exciting things that I think Ron imagines they do. Well, maybe he'll get an offer at Quidditch, that would be nice for him.

I got asked out, for Hogsmeade weekend, by Terry Boot, he's alright, smart, and pretty cute, I said yes. It feels lovely. I have hardly ever gotten asked out. I was asked out by Viktor Krum in my fourth year, that was alright, he was sweet, but he couldn't pronounce my name, and his folks got rather down on him about me when they found out I was muggle-born. I still write to him every once and a while, but I don't think his parents like that very much.

Lots of Transfiguration research today, I managed to turn my eyes purple for six minutes, I showed Professor McGonagall, she was ecstatic. I was less than thrilled, it was pretty neat, but really the whole point is to be able to sustain the change, simple glamours have more effect. She thinks I have enough to work out a NEWT paper, but I'm really not satisfied with my level of success. More research is required. It's quite funny, I really don't have any desire at all to become a metamorphmagus, that would just be too weird. Although, occasionally purple eyes would be quite the novelty.

Harry is actually working on his Charms research, I'm so proud of him. Ron seems to have settled into a jealous funk about Terry Boot, good for him. He did the same thing with Viktor too, I swear, he either wants to go out with me or wants to see me die a virgin.

You didn't see me write that, it was too embarrassing.

I turned my eyes orange today, still only for a few minutes, it's kind of disappointing, but it's entirely at will, does that make me a partial partial metamorphmagus?

Professor McGonagall has encouraged me to work with what I have accomplished, she (quite reasonably) notes that if it took me thirteen months to get to this, it could easily take years to get the rest of the way, and that my findings already are well worth the effort of writing a paper.

I think I'll stick with the animagus training anyway though, it a lot of ways, turning into an animal is a little more impressive than color change eyes, no one notices my eyes anyway.

Talking with Professor Tonks today, she was very impressed with the eyes, it seems kind of funny, because she can change her eyes to any color she wants for as long as she wants, you'd think she would find the static nature of every else's appearance far more novel.

Apparently, the thought that someone could become like her is fascinating.

I don't think I would be fascinated by someone's ability to have brown hair, brown eyes, and talk like they had swallowed a textbook. I think some good solid intellectual discourse would be great. I really miss that, well I take that back, I've never really had that. The fourth-year boys are making animal noises, I'm going to bed.

Being Head Girl really is awful sometimes. One of the girls in Cassandra's class lost her parents to a Death Eater attack two nights ago. I wont say names, but the girl was simply distraught. He decided she did not want to talk to her head of house about the attack and instead decided to talk to me. Of course I don't think I would go running to Professor Snape if I lose my parents either. It's not that I doubt his ability to be considerate to a Slytherin when no one else is looking, but I imagine he'd rather be spared that trouble anyway.

Death Eater attacks are on the rise, I'm worried, and of course, most of the professors I've managed to talk to about it are also quite worried, it seems like a confrontation is on the horizon. The Ministry does not seem to be doing much to prepare, Aurors are on double shifts, but other than that there is no mobilization. Dark wizards who get caught can't be contained, they simply are broken out of prison in a few days without the dementors to keep the prisoners in line. I despise dementors, but before they joined Voldemort they were very good prison guards.

I haven't had much practical experience with Defense Against the Dark Arts since the night in the Department of Mysteries when Voldemort revealed that he had returned, and that time I almost had my insides liquified. I had to take about a dozen potions every day for almost a week, it could have been a lot worse, but after about a week I was alright.

I'm really worried, Voldemort will want to move soon I think, he has gathered some of the remaining giants, almost all the dementors, I hear word that he has more Death Eaters now. The tension is mounting, several parents did not let their children come back to school at Hogwarts this year, I can't say I really blame them, I heard lots of parents wanted to transfer their kids to Beaubatons. I can't deny that I would have gotten a less stressful education somewhere else, but I feel needed here. I suppose it's a little arrogant, but Harry's supposed to be the one to defeat Voldemort, and I'll be damned if it wont be me and Ron, right along side, helping.

Are you fighting on our side? Will I see you when the final battle comes?

Hogsmeade weekend next weekend, which I'm really excited about. The first game of Quidditch of the season in two weekends, which I really don't care about. But this weekend it is all about the Transfiguration NEWT paper, hopefully I'll have it done soon. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, the perpetual grudge match for Quidditch. I remember, about two years ago, on the first day of term, the Sorting Hat sang about the unity that would be required to face the days ahead. It spoke about the fact that Gryffindor and Slytherin used to be the best of friends. I had read about that when I was in the hospital wing my second year, covered in cat hair, not petrified.

It seemed strange to me at the time, the two personalities seem to be designed to be antagonistic. Gryffindors have the tendency to say what they think and be pretty blunt about it, they like to be at the center of things in a lot of ways. A desire to be brave also demands a desire to be recognized for bravery. Gryffindors like recognition. Slytherins like to be cunning, you'll rarely get a Slytherin to say exactly what they mean, and of course they have a stronger understanding of the idea that lies sometimes make the truth easier. Slytherins like to be powerful, they like to be on top of things, but they are also willing to simply be in charge, even if someone else gets to take the credit. They're also far more coldly practical, Gryffindors have to be idealistic and see the best in everything.

Of course, later, I realized, that if the two didn't drive each other nuts, they're very complimentary. Ideally (there's a Gryffindor word), a Gryffindor would keep a Slytherin honest, and a Slytherin would keep a Gryffindor practical. Of course, who knows if that ideal is even possible anymore, lots of Slytherins are swept up in pureblood dogma. I think Slytherins get too sneaky when they keep their own company.

Maybe houses are just silly, they teach students to keep the company of people like themselves and compete with everyone who is different. What do you think? Of course you wont answer, maybe you'll just think about it instead.

It's a girls weekend in for Cassandra and I. I'm actually embarrassingly excited about the whole thing, Cassandra hasn't really bothered to hang out much with me for the last month or so, we haven't even really hung out since the summer, we just did homework and drank lemonade and talked. I know you hear from Cassandra once a week in her journal, so you probably hear all about this stuff, but it's all news to me.

Apparently she's really getting to enjoy most of her classes, although she definitely is missing out on the whole art aspect of her education. She's thinking of starting up a proper art club, but it's difficult, most of the teachers here don't seem to have much of an artistic side. It makes me wonder how wizards and witches even get into learning how to paint, or even photography.

In case you were thinking of something she would like, I think some books on fashion design or just plain design would really make Cassie happy.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was great today, we were working on the Patronus Charm today, it's always great to get to work on something that you've already learned down pat. I think I'm going to be allowed to try to transform into my animagus animal later this week. Do you know how becoming an animagus works? Apparently very few people even really bother to learn how to start going about it, but basically, I have to become in touch with my inner being, and then I can try my transformation. It will be exciting to see what my animal will be.

And, of course, my first real date' is this weekend. Can you tell I'm excited?

Friday, October 24

I'm an animagus! Seriously, I'm going to go register in about a week or two, apparently the ministry gives a month of leeway in the registering of your animagus form, so Professor McGonagall is going to take me to the Ministry of Magic in a few weeks. Can you believe it? Your Head Girl Gryffindor, an animagus.

More news later.

Saturday, October 25

My first draft of my Transfiguration NEWT essay is totally finished, that means I'm almost done with almost every subject, or at least I will be soon.

I had a great time today, Terry Boot and I went to the Three Broomsticks and had lunch, which was lovely. I thought he would suggest we go to Madame Puddifoot's, which seems a little over the top for a first date, but he didn't ask. We went to Flourish and Blotts, which was a blast, mostly we talked about school things, which I suppose it natural for a bookworm on a date with a Ravenclaw.

Talking with Terry was very easy, we'd talked some before, but I don't think that I had really considered him in a romantic sort of way. After today, I'm not entirely sure I do either. It's not that he isn't really fun to talk to, or that he isn't cute, or interesting and has a lot of the same interests at me, I guess it's something else. Maybe I had hoped to go to Madame Puddifoot's, it would have been nice to feel like I was being treated like a real woman.

I suppose if this were strictly a diary I would write more, but since it's more like a letter I'm going to put a rest to the Terry discussion. I think I would go out with him again, and I'm certainly going to play up how much I enjoyed my date to Ron, just because it irritates him so much. I think that Ron baiting is a pretty fun game.

I think it's nice to be compatible, and have loads to talk about with your date. Maybe I'm just being a silly romantic girl about the whole process, but I had hoped for sparks, or at least a flutter. I'd love to feel that silly little feeling you get when you look at someone and it just feels right. I guess they call that chemistry?

I've been studying like mad, I swear teachers try to get half the years work in before Halloween. It's always surprised me that there are hardly any written exams at school, of course several days there are practical lessons where we demonstrate that we've studied, there are never classes where we have to give written test answers, that gets saved for once a year, that is so entirely different from muggle schools. I remember back in school we'd have spelling tests almost every week. Maybe that's why Ron has such appalling study habits, our NEWT papers are due in only five months and he's hardly started.

Transfiguration was great today, I'm really enjoying the turning animals into other animals. It seems so much easier when you understand the anatomy aspects of the transformation. Next weekend, McGonagall and I are going to the Ministry to register me as an animagus, thankfully it will be easy to get there. It's been so much nicer now that I'm seventeen and I can apparate.

Thanks for the Halloween candy, if I die today, I'm sorry, I'll try not to.