Dear Sir Comma Enter, Chapter 4

December

Professor Snape seems to have decided that his Advanced Potions class must not have any other classes, of course, all of the other teachers are acting the same way, but I also have my project with him so I suppose he's grating on my nerves especially hard. Of course, I did run him over the other day, I suppose I should be glad he didn't mention it.

Progress on the Wolfsbane Potion is excellent, progress on a lycanthropy cure is almost nonexistent. This round of experimenting with my Wolfsbane Potion looks especially promising and hopefully I've been able to reduce most of the side effects with mine that made the transformation almost unbearable with the old potion. I'll be able to test those results on the December 13th full moon.

Remus has been really helpful with the potion, of course, I suppose he has a lot of personal interest in the subject. I'm not even entirely sure if he can have a normal life even if he is cured, that stigma never seems to go away. Even with an Order of Merlin and killing Voldemort, it's stuck on you.

Wednesday, December 3

Wow! I just got about two dozen owls from several different publications who want to run an article about my new Patronus spell and, of course, the defeat of Voldemort. Transfiguration Today wants to publish my metamorphmagi research, and possibly do an interview about my whole experience, I'm rather wary of interviews in general, after the Triwizard Tournament issues with Rita Skeeter, but I'm probably going to accept their offer. Considering that Transfiguration is something I'm interested in for a career, it would be ridiculous to pass up the chance to be in one of the more well recognized Transfiguration publications.

The articles about Voldemort are a little more difficult to decide on. What do you think? Can I count on a bunch of academics to not sensationalize the defeat of the most powerful wizard since Grindelwald? Probably not, but I would like your advice if you are prepared to give it.

Cassandra managed to find a faculty sponsor for an art club, apparently Professor Vector is a great patron of the arts. I hardly know anything about painting or such, but maybe I'll go to a meeting or two. You know, when I'm not being Head Girl, or working toward my Potions NEWT. I think I'm glad that I can't draw or anything, it keeps me from trying to compete with Cassie.

Thursday, December 4

I ended up talking to Minerva after class today about having an article in Transfiguration Today, she was very excited about the prospect and told me, in confidence, that I'm one of the brightest students she's ever had the pleasure of teaching. That is certainly good for the ego.

Much worse for the ego today, talking to Professor Snape, at least he didn't call me an insufferable know-it-all, again. Testing is finished on the improved Wolfsbane Potion, it is not poisonous, so I'll definitely be testing it in about a week, wish me luck.

I've been doing lots of experimentation with silver for the lycanthropy cure, but that might be a dead end. I have managed to definitively prove that lycanthropy is a virus, which was previously only speculated, unfortunately that's not exactly newsworthy, no one gives a damn about werewolves. They don't care as long as they don't get bitten.

Thank you for your advice regarding publishing, I think I will start work on my first book as soon as my Potions NEWT paper is finished. Of course, you have proved yourself a true academic with your reasoning, but terribly practical, thus, I have definitively concluded you could not have been a Gryffindor. Gryffindor's have no conceptions of practicality, we're far to willing to just give up an idea because it might be useful to everyone else. Probably not a Hufflepuff either, they're too egalitarian and believe in the free-flow of information.

Of course, you may not be a British wizard, in which case, I am at a loss, but at the very least your written English is flawless, but you sent me to teach at a French wizard institution. Maybe you attended Beaubatons?

Can you believe I have classes other than Potions? Sometimes I don't when I look down at what I have written. I feel pretty dedicated to the project though, lycanthropy is a degenerative condition and most werewolves, especially ones who were bitten young don't live to see 50. Of course, Remus is no where near that old, only 37, but he's been in particularly poor health after the last few transformations so I'm very worried for him.

Have you seen pictures of him? In the Prophet or wherever? I swear he looks so old sometimes, I notice it with my classmates sometimes, we don't look young, we look like we've lived through lifetimes already. I see it especially with Harry, his eyes, they always look like he is just about to cry, and they have so much hurt. He doesn't talk socially anymore, he just listens. I know he's gone to the shrinks, but I'm worried that he'll never be all the way better.

His saving people' thing has gotten kind of extreme as well, it's a paradox, he feels like the people he love get hurt, but he has to protect them. Ron and I, he tries to hold us close and keep us at arm's length, it's very strange.

Ron's heard a rumor that the next Quidditch match (Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw) will have a scout there. His good performance in the game, and maybe a Gryffindor win of the Quidditch Cup would really launch his career.

In other news, Terry finally worked up the courage to come talk to me after Harry punched him out last time. He said he wants to be friends. Oh well, I can't say that I'm surprised and I find myself rather unmoved by his declaration of platonic feelings.

It feels like Ron is gearing up to ask me to Hogsmeade at the end of term, I think I'm going to prepare a I think of you as a brother' speech. I don't need to tell him that as much as I find him adorable, he really doesn't challenge me on an intellectual level.

Goodness, I did a lot of Potions work today. I think I may have accidentally found a lycanthropy vaccine. You know, I should be thrilled, but I keep finding these tangential things that don't solve my main problem. The vaccine is safe on werewolves and there is a small chance that it will help with some of the degeneration problems inherent in the condition, I'll talk to Remus about him when I see him for tests next week. It might keep uninfected' new cells from being damaged, I'm not really sure how it works, I don't think that's good. I'll try to have the answer in a week.

I also got to read Neville's Potion/Herbology NEWT paper, it's really amazing. He's working on some breeding programs, also with mandrakes, and analyzing some muggle mental stimulants in order to try to stimulate recovery from long term curse damage. It's a pretty personal subject for him, and the more I think about it the more I think he would make an amazing mediwizard. I hope Professor Snape appreciates it, I think it's brilliant, but that might just be me.

Three papers due next week, busy weekend. Potions tomorrow, we're working on some of the more complex healing potions. Arithmancy went really well today, Professor Vector commented that I was starting to surpass her ability to actually follow along with the calculations that I was working on. She can only confirm the results. I suppose that's quite strange, realizing that you are hitting the edge of a teacher's knowledge. I suppose my work with Minerva is getting to that point.

I stayed with Remus last night, I really don't think that Professor Snape would have liked having a werewolf in his classroom so we sat up in one of the abandoned first floor rooms. I would have liked to have someone to talk to, but I actually ended up curling up as a Panther and sleeping like that.

This morning he was tired, but he kept his mind and there were almost zero side-effects from the Wolfsbane Potion. He still looked like crap though. We discussed the vaccine, and he agreed to try it. I feel guilty sometimes, using him as my guinea pig, but I know he wants to be cured as much as I want to cure him.

I got special permission from Minerva and went with Remus to Hogsmeade, we enjoyed a few rounds of butterbeer and celebrated a small victory in his fight towards normalcy. We had a great day, but there was only one weird bit. When he walked me back to the castle, after we got there, I swear he wanted to kiss me. I just saw it in his eyes, but instead he said goodbye and walked away.

My heart is still racing just a little bit, and I can't tell if I wanted it or I was scared of it. I hope I can sort all of this out, it's really too much to deal with right now.

Snape was unusually cranky today, sometimes I think he needs a good hug. I'm making fantastic progress, yet he keeps suggesting that I haven't a damn clue what I'm doing. I don't know why I put up with it sometimes, maybe it's because I respect him too damn much. Ron asked me to Hogsmeade, shot him down. I think my brain is going to explode from dealing with my feelings on the Remus issue'.

He used to be my Professor, a while ago, so that makes it a little strange, I've only just gotten used to calling him Remus' and not Professor'. He's the sweetest guy, and very attractive. I suppose I'm a little hooked on the fact that he's so willing to help me with my work. The age difference is pretty negligible in the wizarding world, and so that's not really a big deal. I just can't fight this conflicted feeling in my heart though. Why do I feel this way?

I can't wait for holiday so I have a chance to have a break from it all and just not think some.

Ugg, Ron is sulking, as if I wasn't already so confused without adding on top of it needing to coddle a teenaged ego. I don't think he took my let down as well as I hoped. I'd offer to have a butterbeer with him if I though it wouldn't do more harm that good. I think I'll make sure that Harry comes along, during Hogsmeade visit, to keep things unstrange. I think I'll bring Draco along too, safety in numbers.

In case you were interested in the continuing saga of Draco, I don't hang out with him much, so I hardly talk to him, but he's really glad that his dad's not in Azkaban, maybe I'll try to spend more time with him after spring term starts, he could be a powerful voice in the years to come, speaking out against the bigotry in our world.

Even with personal problems beckoning I still seem to manage to think about the big picture' every once and a while.

End of term is tomorrow, hence, Hogsmeade trip today, most of the students are going home, even Ron and Ginny. Mrs. Weasley is doing alright, she's still super-mom in a lot of ways, she doesn't have any kids to take care of at home and so she's sort of settled in to working at St. Mungo's. I think having so many people to take care of really helps her deal, she gets to fall back on being a mom.

I had already finished all of my Christmas shopping, but Ron and Harry had, as usual, left it off to the last minute. It's hardly any hyperbole at all when I say they have been wrapped since October. I just finished up with your present though, can you send an owl for it? I don't think even the owls can find Daddy Long Legs', Cassie also has a present.

Are you getting ready for Christmas? I wonder if you have a huge family, or maybe you live by yourself, or something in between those two? Whatever the case, set aside a glass of egg nog for me and Cassandra at Christmas dinner. Minerva told me today that only eight kids are staying at Hogwarts over break, I know three off the top of my head, the rest are probably students I don't know very well.

Most everyone took off on the Hogwarts Express this morning, leaving me mostly to my own devices. I think I'll probably work on Potions, get ahead on my class papers, and maybe start on my Voldemort book'. It's funny to think of writing a book about Voldemort as if he were an interesting project I had just finished.

Cassie and I got your owl, and we've sent off your presents, no fair opening them until Christmas day though! I know you're pretty much providing everything for us, but it feels nice to send something to you in appreciation. I've always sent presents to my teachers, since my first year, sometimes I'm rather embarrassed of the whole thing but there is no helping it, my mom always had me give presents to my teachers at muggle school and the habit kind of stuck. Usually, I would just send some nuts or fruit or candy, just a nice gift to try to spread some holiday feeling, but as the years went on and I got to know my teachers better I tried to get them things that were a little more personal.

It's hard to believe this is going to be my last Christmas at Hogwarts and I'm actually going to have to chose a career soon. I should probably think about that while I have a break from classes. Teaching is certainly an option, or mediwitch, those both have a lot to do with helping people. I think maybe working for the Ministry would give me a lot of chances to continue with my own research, which would be fantastic.

I think I might like reading books and working on new theories more then most other options.

I ended up working in the dungeons the whole day on my project. When I showed up I don't think Professor Snape was expecting me, but really, do you think I would pass up the perfect opportunity to work on my project. I don't have to keep Harry and Ron out of trouble, no girl-talk with Ginny, just me and a half-dozen simmering cauldrons.

I'm working like a bit of a mad-woman at this, I really want to have something for Remus next time he comes around, I just want to be able to take away that pain from him. So many people around me are dealing with anger and anxiety and such, it's just seems to much easier to cure someone medically than take away all of their psychological pain.

I suppose I imagine Professor Snape to have the sort of pain I'm no good at healing. I know I don't know anything about his life, or his friends, or anything like that, for all I know he could be married with a zillion kids although I don't really think so. I'm making him brownies for Christmas, it's the only sweet I've ever seen him eat, I'm not even sure he trusts me enough to eat them. I'm a stickler for the rules though, and even though he's mean sometimes, I wouldn't do anything mean back.

Well, today I'm finally taking a break from incessant working, it's Christmas after all. You certainly know how to spoil a workaholic, Daddy Long Legs, a self-organizing day planner. I'll never have to write down anything again, I think you might just have a thing for magical books. I got an anonymous gift too, I figure it wasn't actually from you, it was an emph{Ars Alchemica} Digest, it's absolutely chock full of old articles and it's a really interesting read, I wonder who sent it. It's obviously not from Remus though, he sent me a book of Shakespeare's sonnets, pretty mushy, I'll have to decide what I feel about that sometime.

Ron sent me hair clips, which were nice, I decided to wear them today, when Harry saw them he just snickered at me and said Nice butterflies', I guess butterflies aren't really me. Harry got me a book about wizard careers, I have decided to subtitle it decision making for helpless know-it-alls'. After Harry and I put on our Weasley Sweaters' we went down to the Christmas Feast for lunch. I don't know why the Christmas feast is at lunch, it's really not my decision.

There were only four professors there, Dumbledore, Minerva, Professor Snape, and Professor Dodge, apparently the rest of them went on vacation or were ignoring the feast. It's great to have one of the house elves know me personally, Dobby always makes sure I get something light for dinner, you'd think wizards didn't have to worry about cholesterol the way they eat most times.

Harry decided to run off and ride around on his Firebolt, leaving me to my own devices. Having already decided to not work today I decided to take a walk around outside. I ran into Professor Snape and he actually thanked me for the brownies, imagine that, it was a little surreal. We chatted about an article in the latest Ars Alchemica and he congratulated me on my publication successes.

Will Christmas wonders never cease? Happy Christmas, sir, hope you'll have those glasses of egg nog for me and Cassandra.

Do wizards just not know about viruses? Most treatments for magical ailments of the virus variety seem to revolve around throwing your most powerful healing spell at it, of course this does not work in a variety of cases. Sometimes that is the right solution, strengthen the body's natural functions, that's what you see in the case of something like Skele-gro or Pepper-Up Potion, you make a potion that works with what the body does naturally.

Does using a potion to kill something inside you constitute dark magic of some kind? I think that's the answer to the lycanthropy problem, destroy the virus, the body doesn't know it has to fight, so it doesn't. But I'm having the damnedest of times trying to find a previous potion, or even a spell, to base my design on.

Innovation comes in spits and starts, and stays only briefly. Professor Snape owns a white shirt, white, the opposite of black, I had no idea he owned anything that was not black or green. Shock and amazement, as well as some progress, from your humble orphan.

Wednesday, December 31

Poison, the answer is poison. You can make a poison that destroys a single organ, some terribly advanced ones can even destroy a few veins, and the most difficult can even destroy a single memory utterly and completely irreversibly.

What if it's not perfect? I could kill him.