Potions class for the new month. It's been a lot of note taking recently. That's to be expected since we're in the middle of crunch review time. No final exams for seventh years and fifth years because of the external evaluations, but there is still a huge amount of pressure.

Neville and I were talking about how he would really like to be a Healer at St. Mungo's but that means he'll have to really ace his 5 NEWTs. He should probably also get a few references from teachers. I feel sort of guilty because I have all sorts of job offers, most of which I don't want, and he only wants one job and there is still a lot of work for him.

Neville's only in five classes and so I suppose he has a great chance to get to know the teachers more. That's one thing I really feel I missed out on taking so many classes. Students who only take 5 or so classes get a great chance to develop a close working relationship with a few teachers. I've become friends with Minerva. I do a lot of work with Professor Snape. Professor Vector and I occasionally have an out of class discussion, but for the most part I only have a typical student/teacher relationship with most of the professors.

Last Quidditch game of the season today. When the game started today Slytherin needed to pull off a 250 point victory to win the cup. I sat up in the staff box with Lucius and Professor Snape, but we didn't talk much. The match was really close. Malfoy caught the snitch and Slytherin won the match, but it wasn't enough to win the cup overall.

Lucius took the whole Slytherin and Gryffindor teams, along with Vicky and I, down to the Three Broomsticks for celebratory butterbeer. Professor Snape and Professor Tonks came down as well at Lucius' invitation. Professor Snape had a fire whiskey and we chatted about the match. I also mentioned I was leaning towards taking over Professor Vector's position of Arithmancy Professor.

A half hour or so into the party Tonks came over to where Snape and I were sitting. Apparently she and Lucius have been seeing each other for several months. Well, the news is out, who knows what sort of backlash will be involved. Lucius Malfoy and a half blood wizard. The scandal.

Classes will be over in only a few weeks, and I hardly feel ready. I feel ready for NEWTs that was probably never an issue. I suppose I have been ready for the NEWTs for a long time now. I study compulsively. I've known most of my NEWT level material for several years.

When you grow up as a muggle, after you go to school, take your A-levels, and then you can go to university. You get four more years to decide more about yourself and what you want to focus in. I suppose that's a pretty foreign concept for a wizard. Apprenticeships mean you already know what you want. I suppose when it comes down to it I'm really interested in is research and teaching.

Is that a noble enough professor for your humble student, sir? I worry that I'm not a good enough at teaching or that I have too much left to learn to be effective. I'm not really that insecure, sir. You just happen to be an the receiving end of all of those little insecurities that come to me. Harry and Ron have little patience for that sort of insecurity. How does it feel to read the thoughts of a seventeen year old girl?

I wonder what you must think of me sometimes. Do you know me in person too, or are your impressions based entirely on what I write. People certainly define themselves differently by writing then by actions. Have you built an image up of me? Would I live up to it if I met you?

I worry about that sometimes too. Do you ever regret helping Cassie and me?

It's not every day that the Head Boy gets left beaten outside the Gryffindor common room beaten. On his face they wrote 'Blood Traitor'. Apparently someone felt that the sins of the father should be visited upon his son.

Dumbledore called a meeting. An investigation will be launched, but who knows if this is a feeling of a lone vigilante or something much deeper. I suppose I fear both possibilities. If it is a group, that means there are several people who still hold on to the believe that purity of blood is what truly matters. If it's a lone actor, it just proves that students are not as safe here as Dumbledore would like us to believe.

I suppose that's a lesson that everyone has to learn someday. Those people, the ones who take the place of parent or guardian can't protect you forever. It's true that Voldemort would never come to Hogwarts, but that doesn't mean that his poison was also kept away. Is the illusion of security, if only for a little while, better then the knowledge that nothing is secure?

I don't want those to be the only choices.

Draco got out of the Hospital Wing today. I know Ginny was relived. I was as well. Madame Pomprey has him back to perfect health. At least the mark on his face is gone. I'm definitely glad that Draco is Head Boy and does not have to go to Slytherin at night.

Even as I write that I feel like a hypocrit. There is no proof that it was a Slytherin who did that to Draco, but nonetheless, my first thought is that it must be a Slytherin who did it. I suppose it could have been anyone. I'm just as guilty of prejudice as anyone. Slytherins are cunning and dedicated to their goals, not evil.

That's what needs to happen. An entire generation of witches and wizards who haven't been told that all dark wizards were in Slytherin and that all Slytherins are dark wizards. These sort of things are what float around in your humble student's mind sometimes. I've long since accepted that I don't belong in the muggle world any more. This is my world now. I want to make it the best world I can.

Arithmancy is really fantastic. Nothing in particular to spark that sort of revelation. My mind really love the logic of the whole process. It doesn't seem like wizards really bother with thinking about things logically.

My very first year at Hogwarts, the headmaster hid the Philosopher's Stone in our school. Most of the teachers designed obsticals to keep anyone from getting the stone. Harry, Ron and I broke through all of them together thinking we were going after Professor Snape to keep him from getting the stone. Of course, I can look back now and see exactly how foolish it is to assume just because someone is unpleasant doesn't mean they are evil. The last task was the hardest. It was a logic riddle with poisions and potions and a word puzzle to tell you which potion would let you pass.

As I continue to live in this world I realize how little attention is paid to logical reasoning. Maybe that's why there is so little focus on Arithmancy skills in school.

I just heard the news this morning. Lucius and Remus were both taken captive late yesterday. Apparently Severus was the first to notice that Lucius was missing. Remus failed to report in last night too. They could have been too separate attacks or the same group. Once again I have to hear this new third hand through Harry. Dumbledore has mobilized the Order.

I probably shouldn't be sending the more confidential information your way so you'll have to deal with only hearing my emotional responses to this news. I'm terrified for both of them. We don't even know if there are more people who have been taken or if we have only heard of two so far.

With NEWTs less than 3 weeks away I'm worried about my scores. I also wonder how I ever got anything done these last 7 years. Basilisks, Death Eaters, Fascist Headmistresses, it's a wonder most of us made it through alive.

Draco is ignoring everyone, including Ginny. Do you want to hear about the problems of a sixteen year old girl? I didn't think so. The mood is tense. News of one of the more famous members of wizarding society being kidnapped has travled fast. I'm a little disappointed that no one seems to care about Remus having gone missing. Well, obviously the Order cares, but the rest of the world has hardly noticed.

I suppose to the rest of the world he is just a werewolf. He's not even really a werewolf any more, just some second rate war hero as far as everyone else is concerned. But he is my friend, maybe even something more than a friend when this is all over.

For Lucius my feelings aren't exactly as warm and fuzzy. But, I saved his life, I testified on his behalf, and I'll be damned if he is going to die after I went to all of this trouble to save him. Tonks tries to pretend it isn't worrying her, but she's a horrible liar.

Harry has taken Remus' disappearance personally. It's entirely understandable. After Sirius died, Remus took over as Harry's adult influence. I'm sure Harry will make some plan to go after Remus half cocked in a matter of days. Not exactly the best behavior for someone who wants to work for the Ministry, but he's Harry Potter the rules never seem to apply to him.

I've organized several study groups to help out with exams for all of the students. I suppose I should be thrilled that I seem to remember almost every lesson from all of my classes. I think I'm just trying to avoid the problems with Remus and Lucius. I can't fix anything about it now. Really it should never even fall to Harry or Ron or I to 'save the world' but for some reason Harry always has to step up to the plate.

I know this isn't healthy for Harry. He feels that no one else could possibly solve a problem he tackles. If he doesn't solve it, not one else will either. And so he'll run off, believing that no one else's plans to rescue Remus could possibily work. Mark my words, sir.

We're recieving more information about Lucius' dissappearance from the Daily Prophet than from Dumbledore. Harry is beside himself about being cut out of the planning phases. Personally I think it was a good choice on Dumbledore's part. Although one might say he's protecting Harry far too late.

I've been trying to get Harry to study, but really it is a lost cause at this point. 'I keep losing everyone around me, Hermione, and you want me to fuss over NEWTs?'Draco has come out of his funk finally and is helping me with study groups. He's even giving Ginny some 'extra tutoring sessions'. Don't tell Ron, he may tolerate Draco, but you always want to have your little sister be innocent.

I've never asked if you have siblings, sir. I think something like that has a huge effect on how you grow up. I know it's the reason that Ron always wants to define himself, because of all his brothers and being the youngest boy. Family makes us who we are. Right?

A lot of the more sensational buzz about Lucius had died down and it seems the world is back to not caring. Draco actually resembles his old self recently (his more recent old self, not that git who I met on the train my first year) and that seems like progress. I know he's missing his dad. I hope Lucius and Remus are alright.

Never one to be impulsive I'm still thinking about the possibilty of being a Hogwarts teacher. I don't want to rush into my decision I don't want to have teaching be a horrible chore after a while. It needs to always be fresh and fun for me.

I think I'll talk with Professor Vector more later this week.

I know that I was reviewing for OWLs for many months before they actually happened, but as I recall we didn't do nearly as much review in class as we are doing now for NEWTs. I suppose I should be glad for that. I hear NEWTs are a dozen times harder. I think I'm working myself up to much.

I've got to relax. Tense Head Girls do no one any good at all!

Heath Bars, my favorite, you're the best, sir! Wait. I never told you those were my favorite. How did you know that? I doubt Cassie told you, that's not just the sort of thing you write down. Maybe you say it out loud from time to time but you don't tell your anonymous benefactor.

You're teasing me, I know it. You know all about me and I'm left with a million questions. I can only hope that means you'll actually put me out of my misery sometime soon and actually tell me who you are. Would you maybe promise me that?

It's Cassandra's birthday today which of course you already know. I got her some more paints as she was running out quite quickly. I'm sure she's already expressed unexpressable amounts of admiration for you. Saint Croix Art Intstitue? All summer long? I have to admit I'd never heard of it. Don't die of shock, sir, I can't know everything!

Apparently it's the best. The best of the best. That was amazing of you, sir. It makes me feel a little better. I know I said a long time ago that I worried you did everything for Cassie because you already knew me, but I'm beginning to think you have a soft spot for Cassie that's all her own too.

Even though Remus and Lucius have been missing for weeks, I know something big is going to happen in the next week or two. Somehow, Harry always ends up risking his life around exam times. Obviously he's subconsiously trying to get out of exams. Sometimes they let you skip exams if you save the world. Only sometimes though.